Ethel is a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loves to

 charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and

 getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because she and her fellow

 residents are all one sandwich short of a picnic, they all tolerate

 each other, and some of the men actually join in.

 One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door

 opened and Mad Mike stepped out of his room with his arm outstretched,

 "STOP! He said in a firm voice. "Have you got a license for that

 thing?". Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper

 and held it up to him."OK" he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.

 As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel,

 Weird William popped out in front of her and shouted, "STOP!", Have you

 got proof of insurance?" Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a beer

 coaster and held it up to him William nodded and said, "Carry on, ma'am."

 As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door,


 Bonkers Brian stepped out in front of her, stark naked, holding a very

 sizeable erection for his age in his hand. "Oh, no!" said Ethel,

 "Not that darn breathalyser again!"